Your children know that you are separate individuals, yet they consider you a unit. You are part of a unit they have come to understand and get comfortable with. And your divorce should not break that perception of you and your soon-to-be ex. The following guide will help you break the news and help your children cope with the divorce.
Breaking The News
Consider the following suggestions when telling your children about your divorce:
- You should practice or write down some talking points with your soon-to-be spouse. This should ensure that you are in agreement and will not fight or get emotional as you inform your children of your divorce.
- Reassure your children that you both still love them. And make sure you emphasize that the divorce has nothing to do with them. Many children believe the divorce could have been averted if they did something to help.
- Go over some of the things that will change after the divorce. But, do your best to keep those at a minimal. Right now, it is imperative that your children's life stays as consistent as possible.
- Answer questions but refrain from blaming each other. You do not want your children to see disunity between you and your soon-to-be ex.
Remember that your family law attorney can recommend qualified family counselors that can give you more advice.
Help Your Children Cope
Your children will still have a reaction, no matter how well you explain your divorce to them. And this reaction could manifest itself in many different ways. The following are a few things to remember as your children learn to deal with your divorce.
- Confirm that you are there for them and can answer any questions they may have.
- Tell them that their feelings are valid (you can express that you feel lonely just as they do without your soon-to-be ex).
- Offer support, and help your children express their feelings.
- Encourage communication between them and your soon-to-be ex.
- Remember to keep your front up, and do not talk badly or blame your soon-to-be ex in front of your children.
- Do not forget to pay attention to their behavior, which you can do by talking to their babysitter or teacher. Behavioral issues can be helped with a family counselor.
As you can see, your divorce entails more than just your life and the life of your soon-to-be ex. And don't be afraid to ask for extra help from a professional like Waters & Associates, Attorneys At Law.